inhaling positivity +++

Since i wrote that blog on exorcising negativity, the phrase has been my mantra for almost twenty days now and vowed to continue using it until not a single negativity resides my body and soul. In all fairness, i think exorcising the negativity in me was successful in my first three weeks because i am feeling that life has become simpler and lighter :) Work and school are now easier to manage. Life indeed become friendlier. My negativity is synonymous with worries, stress, whines, hates, dreads, complains; but these words were alien to me for the past twenty days. Not that i became passive during those days but i just learn to let negative things - that i know would drench my soul if i ponder on them - pass through. Thank God.

Because i said in my previous blog that i would write a part two of the things i am thankful for, now here they are :)... (warning: i've written mostly about myself here, pardon me if i get too braggish).

• Me as an NGO worker. I am so thankful that fate brought me into this career path. I am particularly proud of my NGO roots (and the people i worked with) which until now kept me grounded and humbled me enough on what a true-blooded community development worker really is. Penetrating the NGO Community in Cotabato City brought a minor culture shock to me. Comparison from my past to present is endless. And this is what i realized: I will never trade the colorful (a lot of rainbows and a lot of black) experiences i gained from my previous NGO works to a four-digit per diem you can spend a lot of pastil (Muslim delicacy) with or to a pajero that can comfortably (minus dust and smoke) bring you to the community. Nothing beats the habal2 (improvised motorcycle that can carry up to 5 passengers) or the rural buses a.k.a sardine cans, harhar.
• Me as a frustrated an artist. Lol. I want to say frustrated since for my 27 years of existence, I have not yet brought into this world any obra maestra that can attest to my claim as an artist. lol. I do claim that i am an artist. If loving colors, envying great artists, trying on arts, hobbies and crafts, flipping through architectural digest and interior design magazines, doodling on papers, frequenting photos/paint exhibits make you an artist, then i am. And oh, if receiving an award as a School Artist and winning poster/slogan making contests in elementary make you An Artist, then yeah, i really am! Lol. I am thankful for this talent, sans obra maestra. I am thankful for my inclination to arts, that i get to appreciate life and this world in different hues!
• Me as a writer. I can write yeah, but not as good as my favorite writers and columnists . But I still thank God i can. A few is gifted with a talent to write. And i prided myself that although there are things i still need to learn in proper writing, i can write my thoughts down, anywhere, anyhow. Oh well, maybe God knows that i am generally shy and will lose in any oral debates, so He gave me the power to write. I kinda more like it, since writings can be immortalized. This blog entry will forever roam the cyberworld if bits and bytes permit :) One comment on my writing i would never never forget is this: "If i will have to get somebody to write a children's book, it will be you". Honestly, i did not understand what she meant, even until now. But i took it as a compliment, nonetheless. Hehe.
• Me as a student. Not all people are given the chance to go back to school, not even through distance learning. But i am. Through UP's open university, i get to pursue a Diploma in (drum rolls...) Environment and Natural Resources Management. Hehe. I do not dream to replace Secretary Atienza, not ever. But i do dream to have a share in saving our Mother Earth. And i thought that by enrolling in this course will be the first step to realizing that dream. Thank God that I have managed to get over four hurdles este subjects and still have four to go. I hope that by then, i have already started a campaign that has helped in reducing the carbon emissions that contribute to global warming. Or something like that. Because global warming is a global problem that needs global actions, my contributions would be just a speck in the universe. But i say, at least. Our planet earth has other alarming issues aside from Global Warming, what else do you know? What are you doing aside from sitting on your butt and complaining how hot the climate is or how dirty your surrounding is? What??!! (...and the campaign has started).
• Me being me. There is so much to be thankful to God for making me into who i am now. I am farrrrrrrr from perfect, but i am no nobody. It once entered my mind that i have a mild condition of schizophrenia, with a split personality disorder that is. But of course, i am just trying to be cute (not that schizophreniacs are cute) and scientific. Anyway I am trying to say is that despite the unstable personality that i believe i have, majority of the people in my circle still love me or like me. Ahehe. After all, i am a nice person. Thank God :)

Admittingly, exorcising the negativities in me is so hard to sustain. Especially that for everyday in my life at the moment, i have to endure pesky colleagues, and damn office systems. But still, I am thankful that i have been trying...

Now, close your eyes and inhale positivity (for whatever that means hehe).